I gained weight rapidly over the years now self conscious embarrassed crying often lonely unmotivated too anxious to get a haircut. Is this depression?

Yes, get help. You are describing classic symptoms of depression, including feeling too bad about yourself to get a haircut. Although your weight gain makes it,harder to be around people, gaining weight probably marked the start of your depression. Talking with someone about what was going on when you started gaining, and how you have been since can help. Sometimes meds along with therapy is most helpful.