Up to about age two, we have no control of what we do or how we respond.
The 'terrible' twos simply defines that us little people start to experience that how we respond can push mom's or dad's buttons--and that's really really cool. All of us are anal, fearful of losing control, it's simply a matter of degree. Far right--super anal, far left--no anal tone. Find the middle ground that's right 4u.