When in school I donated by artificial insemination. Now married, how can I tell my wife who can't get pregnant?

Lethal secrets. There are counselors who specialize in such issues. I would begin with a psychologist with experience with people with fertility challenges. A urologist or reproductive endocrinologist expert in fertility might be able to provide a referral also.
Why would you? . The issue now is to focus on the two of you, your relationship and your plans for the future. An infertility specialist can help discuss treatment options including ivf, surrogacy and adoption. Bringing up your past is unlikely to be helpful in the here and now.