What's the best and strongest OTC med for anal itching, irritation and swollen and inflamed area where I have extra skin between anus and vaginal area?

Anal Itching. You can try otc Cortaid (hydrocortisone) or cortisone 10 with lotrimin but if that does work see your doctor as this could be a yeast or fungal infection.
Ask Pharmacist. The local pharmacist should be able to recommend the right product. If you don't wan to ask, look for a medicated pad in the incontinence section of the pharmacy.