My daughter will not sleep the whole night by herself in her own bed without waking up & crawling into bed with me. I tried all angles, & am losing...?
Learned behavior. Sleep is a somewhat learned behavior and kids learn by association. If all your child knows is the same routine at night, to get up and go to your room, that is what she will do. Change the bedtime routine, and explain in clear terms what you want her to do, and stick to to your request. It may take you escorting her back to bed every night for a couple of weeks but in the end she will learn.
Expectations. This is a power struggle, pure and simple. She's waking up and being allowed to get back into bed with you, and is getting secondary gain from doing so. Occasionally there can be a real fear or feeling of instability, but mostly it's nice for her and expedient for you. Best thing to do, repeatedly, non emotionally and without any lengthy explanation, walk her back to her bed and leave her there.
Establish a regular. bedtime. Read, cuddle, brush her teeth & put her in her own bed, drowsy, but awake to learn to self-calm for sleep. Explain at her language level that if she gets up, you'll walk her back to bed without talking or making eye contact. Expect the behavior to escalate in an attempt to gain the prior reinforcement, then extinguish, as long as you consistently ignore it. See healthychildren.org.
Enforce what U expct. You wouldn't let her take a dump in the living room so why you won't enforce your expectation she stay in her bed is important. It is important that she understand you love her, but you expect her to stay in her bed.When you decide you really mean it you can do this.