Doctor insights on:
Handle Emotionally Abusive Mother
Don't fight her but: Don't allow yourself to be abused that way. You can do that with both love and dignity and if not both, certainly with dignity. Can you talk to her when things are calm? Does she have some form of emotional disorder? Do you have options as to how much time you spend with her? Will she listen to suggestions for calling a truce or getting counseling? Do you provoke or continue fights? Don't fight. ...Read moreSee 1 more doctor answer
Boundaries: There is a program you may not need called Al-Anon. In that program one learns that we cannot control or change others. And, often we did not cause the problems that others are causing. I would bet at your age it is time to stop the war and to create safe space in your life so that you can have a full life. That may mean changing how you interact with your mother: i.e. no more arguments.... ...Read moreSee 1 more doctor answer
Are you an adult?: I am going to assume that you have tried pretending to love her, and that you've talked with your physician about the possibility of family therapy. One real option is to plan an intervention with everyone else in the nuclear family -- confront her and agree to stick together. People like this seldom change & escaping may be best. In a free country, you cannot be required to see / visit with her. ...Read more
You can't: If the situation is as you say it is, then it's impossible to satisfy or please her. The best ploy is pretending to love her. This may or may not work. Please consider couples counseling for you and your partner. If you are not standing together against emotional abuse, your marriage is in serious danger. Best wishes. ...Read more
Abusive mother: Anything is possible -- but the larger concern is that you as a 38-year-old take charge of your own life and healing now. Having treated many people with histories of parental abuse, i can tell you that it was only when they stopped focusing on blaming the abuser and started learning to nurture their own lives ; those of others that movement towards health began. Therapy does help. Peace to you. ...Read more
With courage: Therapy is needed for this kind of situation. Resulting difficulties can vary, but issues of trust, fear/hate, and self-loathing are a few common ones that can also make it hard to trust the therapist. Finding one you can work with over time is crucial. These issues are not only "in the past" but can be relived in the present. You can gradually integrate & make peace with your experiences. ...Read moreSee 1 more doctor answer
If a mother's and/or father's abuse of drugs or alcohol throughout their lifetimes affect the health of their children?
I agree, parents: Are role models for their children. They are learning to drink. In addition, their children are at high risk to either become alcoholics or marry one. There is also a strong hereditary factor which make the risk of becoming addicted higher. Sons of alcoholic fathers ; daughters of alcoholic mothers are at highest risk. ...Read moreSee 1 more doctor answer
My in-law's wife routinely screams at and insults his mother and brother (but not nec. Him) - he is humiliated. Is that spousal abuse?
Mother is emotionally abusive and gives me extreme panic attacks. Is there a kind of restraining order without someone having to leave the home?
My mother is verbally and emotionally abusive towards me and shows no remorse, when i'm left feeling depressed. What should I do to stay positive?
Set limits: When someone is abusive it is important to not allow it to continue. But we can only be abused if we continue to allow it. See a therapist who can help you set limits in an assertive (not passive or aggressive) way. Also check out the book (best is audiobook on cd), the four agreements, by don miguel ruiz. And, as dr. Lin suggests, distance yourself in any way you can, up to & including moving. ...Read moreSee 3 more doctor answers